themainframe-related oneshot - Waking Dreams

[strengthinkindness]

"...Chris? Are...you awake?"

Despite being spoken in the softest whisper, the words still had Chris stirring. He really hadn't been sleeping anyway.

Stretching his arms over his head, he yawned before opening his eyes, turning to glance next to him at Fluttershy. Even in the dark of night he could see her lying on her side, eyes watching him curiously.

"Yeah..." he replied after a moment with a smile. "I'm awake...What's up?"

She hesitated for a moment, and she seemed to look a bit embarrassed as she glanced away. "Do...we have any extra blankets...?"

He blinked, turning to lie on his side to look at her better. "You cold?"

"...A little."

Chris frowned a little, wondering if they should have put the tents up after all. It had seemed like such a nice night, and Fluttershy had agreed to sleeping under the stars that night with him and Martin. But he realized they should have taken into account Fluttershy's sleeping bag, and how it couldn't close all the way because of her wings. Even with the sweater she wore - one specially made for her that had extra appendages just for her wings - the open air could still leave her a little cold.

Thinking for a moment, he then began to unzip his sleeping bag before slipping out of it.

Fluttershy blinked, sitting up slightly as he began to move. "What are you doing?"

"Hang on..." It was the only answer he gave as he moved his sleeping bag closer to hers. He had her move for just a moment, rearranging the two sleeping bags before having Fluttershly lie back down and following her after.

"Is that better?" he asked, giving her a small smile as he lay next to her.

Even in the dark he could tell she was blushing deeply, and he felt more than saw the slight nod of her head. "M...M-Mm..."

He tried not to show his own embarrassment, hiding it as he stared up at the sky above. He would probably never hear the end of this from Sprout - and maybe Martin, for that matter - but it's not like they were doing anything. Body heat was just the best way to keep someone warm. It was just logical sense.

Right.

He was drawn out of his thoughts when he felt Fluttershy shiver a little beside him. He glanced at her. "Still cold?"

"Mm...N...Not exactly."

He frowned curiously, turning onto his side to look at her better. "Then what is it?"

Fluttershy blushed a little, pulling the sleeping bag up so that only her eyes were visible. "I-It's...It's nothing..."

"C'mon, Fluttershy...It's not nothing if it's bothering you." Placing his hand on one of hers, he gently lowered the sleeping bag to see her face. "What's wrong?"

Hesitating for another moment, she then turned to lie on her side, facing him. "I-I was just...worried about all the people back in Hospitown...all my friends still there..."

Chris was silent for a moment as he thought, trying to recall if something had happened to any of them when she had checked in with them earlier that evening. "Was anything wrong?"

"N...N-Not really. I'm not...worried about anything like that." She sighed softly. " I'm just...a little scared..."

He waited for a moment, but when she didn't elaborate he gently prompted, "Scared of what?"

She glanced away again. "Of...who won't be there any more when I get back."

He couldn't help making a soft noise in worry, sliding an arm around her shoulder. "Hey...don't think like that. You don't know that something like that'll happen. There's a good chance that no one will disappear while we're gone."

She didn't say anything for a moment, even as she rested her head on his shoulder. Then she sighed softly, "A lot of people tend to get sent home when I'm away."

"Hey, come on...That's not your fault. It's just bad timing that those people disappeared while you were away."

"I…I-I know. I just…" She sighed softly. "I wish I could have had the chance to say goodbye…"

Oh…That was understandable.

Not quite knowing what to say after that, he gently rubbed her shoulder, trying to be as reassuring as he could. "Even…Even if you had been around before they left…You still might not have gotten the chance. People just…disappear without warning, don't they? So you'd…never know when they were going to leave…"

He inwardly groaned at himself. How was that supposed to help?

Hearing Fluttershy sigh brought his attention back. "I guess that's true…" she murmured softly. "People can just…disappear so suddenly…"

Which was something that Chris had trouble understanding. Even for the few months that he'd been in that world, and even after all the things he had encountered while there…it was hard to think that people could just disappear without a trace.

Rubbing her shoulder again, he glanced down at her, his curiosity taking over. "Hey, Fluttershy?"

"Yes?"

He hesitated for a moment, trying to gather the right words for what he wanted to say. "You…You've been here for a while, right?"

She nodded. "It's been…goodness, almost a year now…I-I was…among the first group of Chosen that was brought here…"

Which was another thing that puzzled Chris, but he decided to deal with one thing at a time. "Is it…always like that? People just…disappearing suddenly?"

Fluttershy frowned a little, glancing away. "The people that came around the same time I did…not a lot of them are still here…They just…vanish. Sometimes you don't know they're gone until you realize…you can't reach them. But there's never a word…never something to let us know that they've been sent home. It's only when someone tries to get in touch with them, that they tell everyone else that they're missing."

He gently tightened his arm around her, recognizing the slight tremor in her voice. "It's happened a lot, huh?"

She nodded. "More than…I wish it would."

He hated to ask anything else, not wanting to bring up any more bad memories for her, but he had to know. "And it could…happen to anyone? At any time?"

"I-It…seems that way. There never seems to be any pattern to who disappears, or when. They're just…gone suddenly."

Chris held down a troubled noise in his throat, a new wave of worry rising in him with her words. It wasn't anything he had considered before, but he suddenly found himself thinking of the possibility of him and Martin disappearing suddenly, leaving Fluttershy all by herself in the wilderness. Granted, they weren't that far out of Hospitown yet, and she would probably be able to find her way back herself. But the whole point was to teach her wilderness survival, and the idea that he and Martin could just suddenly be gone and leave her alone was frightening.

…Almost as frightening as the thought of Martin suddenly going home without him. Or vice versa.

Pushing that thought down as much as best as he could, Chris distracted himself by asking Fluttershy another question. "What…What was it like…when you went home?"

Glancing up at him, she thought for a moment. "It's…It's not really the same as coming into this world…when you feel yourself being pulled to another place. When you leave…it's really like you're here one moment…and the next you open your eyes…and you're home."

He watched her, almost seeing the wheels in her head turn as she thought of how to answer his questions. "Was it weird…? Being home suddenly after everything that happened here?"

"N…N-Not really. It was just like…waking up from a dream. Everything is…vivid and fresh in your mind when you first wake up. But there's…nothing from the dream that makes you think it's real…maybe just a dull pain that goes away after a time…And then as you go about with your normal life…you start to forget things from the dream…Little details here and there…faces, names…until all you're left with are vague feelings, and you're not sure why you have them…"

He frowned as he listened to her. "Did you…forget everything? Even…?" He let his voice trail off, the words stopping short. He wanted to ask…but somehow he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

Fluttershy looked at him for a moment before glancing away again. "I…I'm not sure. It's hard to say if I really…forgot everything. I just…didn't seem to remember it until I came back."

Turning the words in his mind for a moment, he nodded. So there was a possibility that they could remember…but he also understood that the things that happened here were so bizarre and fantastic, that once you were sent back to your normal life…there wasn't anything to do but chalk it up to dreams.

"So…" he said, more to himself than to her, "the things we do here…really have no bearing on what happens to us back home." He tilted his head back a bit to where the Digimon were asleep. "The things we do…the people we meet…we'll barely remember any of it, if we're lucky…"

What was the point then? If they were all brought here together to save this world – to save all the worlds – why wouldn't they get the chance to really remember any of it? To meet these people, to learn about them, and about all these different worlds…to go through all of this…just to have it taken away, to write it off as some crazy dream when they're sent back home? As if it didn't mean anything?

Why would anyone do that?

He was once again drawn from his thoughts as Fluttershy shifted, her hand resting on his chest tightening as she buried her face in his shoulder. "That's why…" he heard her whisper, "it's important…to spend time…with the friends we made here…To let them know…that we care about them…while we still have the chance…Right?"

There was the slightest hitch to her voice with that last word. And he knew she was asking for affirmation as much as she was agreement. That she wanted to know that taking the time to make these friends, to get to know them, to get close to them…wasn't just for nothing.

He tightened his arm around her again, almost in a protective way, as he gently brushed some hair from her face. "Yeah…" he murmured, having to talk around the lump in his throat. "That's…that's right…"

* * *

Silence settled over the two after their conversation, and eventually the soft noises of sleep could be heard. Only then did Martin sigh to himself, tucking his folded arms under his head as he stared up at the darkened sky.

He had woken as soon as Chris had moved, but refrained from saying anything as the two started talking, giving them as much privacy as he could manage. But there was only so much he could pretend not to hear, and it was only after they were both asleep that he let his mind wander, thinking back to what had been said.

He would never say so out loud, and the thought might even be gone by morning. But he couldn't help wondering if the fact that they wouldn't clearly remember their time in this world was actually a good thing. Sure, not getting a chance to remember these new friends was a bit harsh, and even a little unfair.

But it also seemed unfair to get this chance to meet these people from different worlds, to make friends with them, only to be sent home and never get to see them again.

So maybe…not being able to remember them…was just a way to make it easier for the Chosen once they were sent back home. If they couldn't remember, then they couldn't think about the people they had met after everyone was sent home. They could just continue with their daily lives and not worry about the safety of friends in another place…They wouldn't have to miss people that they could never see again.

It was the smallest comfort he could possibly think of. But for their sake – for his brother, and Fluttershy, and all the people that had been brought into this world and made friends they could never hold on to – Martin could at least keep holding onto that.